["LES ANGES"; as submitted to You Tube by cruella06000 on February 04, 2008; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0Zl0HkFWqs (I don't understand the words in this, but I love the imagery)]
I regret that in removing all of the event announcements - some of which were attached to other write ups and information - I deleted (amongst other things) the Gordon Webb placard information and the last City Council meeting notes.
I could try to get these back - or rewrite them; but frankly, I'm just too fried (or scrambled?) - in every sense of the word - to do so right now.
I haven't even attempted to write up the last Kingston Area Public Access (KAPA) meeting notes - because I might (having gotten very angry at this meeting / and I believe justifiably so...) say something I would regret.
I would like to say a few things though - about why I got involved in all of this in the first place...
Starting with the fact that as a survivor of (and witness to) some pretty atrocious traumas in my lifetime - I would like to see stricter (but still humane) laws enacted in regard to child sex offenders and any other violent offenders that perpetrate physical (which generally means psychological, as well) harm upon a child, a woman or any other human being....
Moving on to the fact that I truly think this City is overloaded with not-for-profits (religious and non) - and that this (a financial issue, not a religious discrimination issue) is a major factor in regard to why businesses can't flourish here; why so many homeowners are losing ground; and in regard to the city's overall tax revenue problems.
And touching again upon Kingston Area Public Access, a station that - should it get back on the air - I would like to see reach out to and give exposure to some of the better (in my opinion) human service organizations (whatever their status) I have come across during my time in the City. These would include, amongst others, the U.C. Crime Victims Assistance Program, the YWCA Teen Parent Prevention Program, the Cornell Cooperative Extension Program (s), Aids Related Community Services and many others.
Along with airing programs on the arts, children's talent expos / awards, community events, politics, civil liberties, general awareness and education, etc.
Other than that - the whole KAPA thing has not really been "my" fight (although it somehow morphed into that...) - and there are undoubtedly better ways and places for me to be investing my time (KAPA has taken up a tremendous amount of time...) and efforts.
That said, I wish those that continue to "legitimately" (a loaded word that I will not explain...) support and advocate for KAPA all of the very best - due to the fact that media manipulation, suppression and control are issues that everyone should (in my opinion) be concerned about.
I don't know - at this moment - what "fork in the road" I'm going to choose to travel down - if I will keep this blog up and running - or even if I will choose to continue living in the City...
But I hope that for as many people as I might have upset via some of my viewpoints - there are at least the same amount of people from whom I have earned a degree (Thank you's go out to Rebecca, Jeanne, Jeanette, Shirley, JJ, my precious daughter - and some others...) --- despite my "failings" --- of respect.
All of that said, I don't want to weigh in, personally, on the political races in the same manner that some of other bloggers do...
I will simply vote - irregardless of Party Affiliation - for those that have earned my respect - for when all is said and done, - we are all, as individuals, just "one small voice" (still - "every vote matters") in the mix.
[I imagine these people know who they are - and I thank them for their kind and prompt responses, hard work and perseverance.]
Where do I go from here - after having (I feel) embarrassed and humiliated myself (I too often try to ignore my medical / emotional issues...) with my perhaps naive ideologies and well-intended (but doomed and costly) actions?
Why did I - of all people - fall in love - once introduced - with the political world?
Fear on one hand...
Hope on the other...
A little taste of power (in a positive instrumental sense) for someone that has felt powerless for far too long...
And the growing realization (and yes, I do believe this) that most of the folks in office - or running for office - are much like you and me --- and sincerely want (I suspect there are some exceptions) to do (during some extremely trying times) the "right" (even though their perspectives on what is "right" might differ) things...
I haven't done this blog (or anything else I've done this past few years) with thoughts of entering the current political races; although some small part of me might have hoped that two or three or four years down the road I would ("if I kept my nose to the grindstone...") be strong enough to make such a move...
Now I tend to think that I am better off planting my gardens, painting my pictures, nourishing my new love of photography and recently discovered love of nature... and finding peace (if at all possible) inside myself.
So, I've gone anon (on site) again...
Until I regain my footing and decide in what direction (the world is full of options, and I find there are few or none without some degree of pain and grief attached) I will walk...
["One Small Voice"; as submitted to You Tube by andrewhwest on March 16, 2008; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2eqMPTANMg]
Peace, Love, Truth, Equality and Humane Justice...
N
Sunday, September 13, 2009
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