Grandma with Blue Hair...
Photo by BS
I've never been good at dealing "out in the world." But in 2009 I tried. With steps forward. Steps back. Sometimes spinning in circles...
I tried.
But I found that this country - allegedly (according to some sources) built upon the ideal of "rugged individualism" - does not honor or respect those that "think outside the box" - or those that are resistant to "groupthink" and groveling.
I tried.
But I don't do "groupthink" well.
And I don't grovel...
And I don't have money enough to "buy" any influence, even if I should be so inclined...
So.
2009 in review?
The city of Kingston is still (my opinion) a mess.
The state of New York is still (my opinion) a mess.
The United States of America is still (my opinion) a mess.
And the world at large?
I guess maybe you should ask Santa, his reindeer and "The Week" magazine about that....
But it surely "ain't" looking too good in Afghanistan.
And its still pretty upsetting that almost everything I pick up in a store (and usually put back down) says "Made in China."
I don't much care - at this point - what others - be it in the community forum - or the political arena (where I attempted to make my voice heard and never denied that I suffer from certain disabilities) - think of me.
I've always been a kaleidoscope of talents (yes, I have some...) and disasters (plenty) --- and I'm both arrogant enough and humble enough to acknowlege my public self, my shadow self and my wounded - oh so wounded (but trying to heal...) self.
Which makes me different - I guess - than most.
Even with most of my pain - and most of my traumas (past and present) still contained in a lockbox inside my head...
Where some hopes and fragile dreams find a little bit of room to dance (at least now and then...) as well.
I've done this blog for me - and for anyone that might be interested in what I have to say. I keep tabs on the traffic here [via statcounter] - which have [the stats / site traffic] been pretty good - even though the people that visit rarely make their presence known.
I've also - more importantly - done this blog [which I print out occassionally] for my children and grandchildren - for the day that "might" come when they ask: "What was mom (or grandma) like?" "What was she really all about?"
To which I hope this blog would answer:
She was serious. She was silly. She was a failure. She was a success. She was someone - at least for a little while - that tried to make a difference. And...
She was someone that loved her children and her grandchildren (although certain things, including a tragic family legacy, have off-times played interference...) very, very, very, very much...
2009: I can't say I'm sorry to see this year end.
2010: Not off to a good start...
2015? Well, lets just say that I'm hoping I don't have "made in China" stamped on my a*s - that flowers and trees continue to bloom - and that those adorable little "Smart" cars (are "they" made in China?) continue to (lol) reproduce!
I don't regret anything that I have done this year.
I lived. I learned. I grew.
But I sure do intend to start 2010 with some different resolutions in mind...
So, wish me luck --- and I will do the same for you!
Happy New Year!
Live.
Love.
Laugh.
NS
1 comment:
Amazing as always
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